It’s been a rough year. For months I continued to go back on the road because I couldn’t give it up. I desperately wanted to experience Jesus as I had in the years before but he wasn’t there and the grace to travel was gone. I experienced months of depression during the transition to everyday life. Circumstances became so much of a challenge I wondered if Florida was really the land of milk and honey that I had expected; homelessness, major car repairs for both me and my girls, being apart from them, and living with crazy people. We’re still homeless and lack transportation but we’re in a much better place. For a time I felt abandoned by God. Then I lost my arrowhead I didn’t find it for months, turns out it was close by all along just as God was always with me, close by loving me, providing for me, even though I couldn’t see him. Although our situation was dire God always had his hand on us. It could have been so much worse if Jesus wasn’t with us.
Do I miss being on the road? I have to admit it do; driving the open road, listening to my favorite music, seeing wonders of this earth, just me and Jesus alone in the wilderness on an incredible adventure. I still read my journal entries, look at photos, listen to the same music to recapture a moment of the adventure but I wouldn’t go back on the road again. Not yet anyway. So what made me want to remain stationary? Surely not the lack of a working transmission, if that were the case I would still try to finagle a way to fix it.
It’s not that it doesn’t tempt me, no; God gave me reason to stay that is much stronger. So what happened to make this woman infected with wanderlust become stationary? Well it happened September 24 at 11:47pm…. watching the birth my grandson Malakai, my new adventure. I look forward to the day when I can take him on some wild adventure with Jesus. The road will have to wait for me till my little man can come too, maybe his mom and aunt if they’d like to come.
Like Abraham, God told me to leave my home, my family and friends and go to the land he would show me (Gen 12:1). So I did leave my home and traveled to a place god would take me, I left unsure of a final destination but my trust restored all to me. I made it to the land of milk and honey, a new life, a new baby and all new challenges. This is my final jubilee, to make Florida my family’s new homeland for us and for future generations to come, a place for future generations to return home to for their jubilee.
And yes, I watched every cheesy Christmas movie on Hallmark, Lifetime, USA and all the networks! I am still in awe of the reconciliation with my family and my own Hallmark Christmas.
Whatever god asks you to do, no matter how bizarre it may seem, how much others ridicule you, how unsettling or scary. If you open your heart to God you will sense an excitement growing. No matter the effort, not matter the cost; do whatever it is Jesus puts in your heart because there is nothing more rewarding than going on an adventure with Jesus.