Day 90: Sept 28. “Never Truly Alone”

After taking sunrise pics, and yes I was up that early, I headed to Yellowstone. Took roads I didn’t take before, saw waterfalls I hadn’t seen before, drove steep winding roads that made my breaks overheat and probably the shot rotors again.

I’m puzzled by lower water levels of the hot pools. Old faithful, usually 100-150 feet, was now a pitiful few feet. Earlier in the day I heard a man mentioning another geyser was bigger, I’m thinking, whatever, go back. But now I know what he means. Watch that judgmental attitude. Also, the lower hot springs in the Mammoth Hot Springs area are usually steamy with flowing waters of a beautiful opaque pale blue are now completely dry. What’s going on here, is this normal? Seasonal? So much has changed, even me. I’m sick from the smoke and allergies; frustrated. This is not what I remember feeling. These parks changed me forever and now I find little pleasure in being here. Is my heart as dried up as these hot pools? Maybe I’m feeling blue because my girls aren’t with me? Maybe this place needs to be shared to get the full experience?

Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming 2005

My eyes glance down to my jasper arrowhead and it just comes to me, God put in my mind the words from the book Captivating. I realize – the arrowhead is a symbol of a warrior, God as my warrior, fighting for me and my heart. Oh, how overwhelmed I feel, now the meanings of this simple little arrow are complete. This little memento of this journey is so packed with meaning and I know I have not been experiencing any of this alone. Jesus has been with me the whole time, I just chose to feel sorry for myself for the lack of human company, for changed landscapes when what I needed was to choose to live in the moment and experience it anew, with Jesus.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20b (NIV)


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